1。Good Intentions
良好的心愿
One day a boy came to his teacher and said:" Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig。
一天有个男孩去对他老师说：“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me。
“当然罗，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。”
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig。
好几天过去了，再没提起考猪肉的事儿。
Finally the teacher said to the boy:"I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig。
最后老师对男孩说：“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”
"Yes," said the boy, "he did intend to, but the pig sot well。"
“是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪又没病了。
2
Who Shot Abraham Lincoln
Mr。 Smith and his son Rick were called to teacher 's classroom。
“ Mr。
Smith, ” said the teacher, “ I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it! ”
“ Well, teacher, ” said Smith, “ if my kid said he didn't do it — he didn't do it! ” Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, “ Tell me, son, did you do it? ”。
一、请提供一些英语小笑话
上面是网站地址!
里面不光有笑话!!
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon。
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon。
So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
ation。 "All who want to go to heaven，please rise。" Everyone got up except the snorer。
After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise。
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it。
二、求几则简短的有寓意的笑话（拒绝带色笑话）
兔子跟街上走着，迎面碰上了老狼。老狼伸手就给他一大嘴巴，“让你丫不戴帽子”。
兔子很郁闷地回家了，弄一帽子戴着。
第二天又碰上老狼了，又挨了一大嘴巴，“让你丫戴帽子”。
如是几次，总挨打。
兔子想，这么老挨打不是个事儿啊，不行，我得找老虎投诉去。
刚到老虎家门口，就听老虎在屋里说话。
“你也不能老这么蛮不讲理打兔子阿，回头兔子找我投诉来，我也不好罩着你啊。好歹咱面子上得过得去，我教你一招。
下回你见着兔子，跟他说：给我弄点儿洗衣服的来。他给你拿肥皂来，你就打他一顿的，说我要的是洗衣粉，谁让你拿肥皂。他拿来洗衣粉，你也能打，说我要肥皂，谁让你拿洗衣粉。
要不然你跟他说，去，给我找个女人来。
他给你找个胖的，你打他一顿说我要瘦的；给你找个瘦的，你也打一顿，说我要胖的。
这样不结了，你也能打他，我面子上也能说得过去。”
兔子一听，得，咱也别投诉了，回家吧。
第二天，兔子在街上又撞上老狼。
老狼大喝一声：去，给我找点儿洗衣服的来。
兔子不慌不忙：你是要洗衣粉阿，还是要肥皂啊？
老狼一听，嗯？有一手阿。又说：去，给我找个女人来。
兔子还是不慌不忙：你是要胖的啊，还是瘦的？
老狼一听勃然大怒，伸手就给兔子一个大嘴巴，
让你丫不戴帽子！。
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